Of Doubts and Leaves

Doubts like leaves blown by the wind,
frolicking by the roadside,
dance painfully in my mind.

Which should I choose?
Only One can be my bride;
all the rest must be left behind.

Shall I be a poet or a preacher,
a jazz pianist or a lawyer?
Shall I be whole or torn apart?
But to be whole is to be torn apart!

Hagar’s husband was heartbroken
when he left her with his son:
What a cruel fate he gave them!
But the thing once done is done.

If I choose to be this one and not
the other one that I could be,
I will be murdering one self so that
another self might fully be.

In order to be truly me
I must decide to not be me!

The leaves are lifted by the wind
only to fall gently once again
dead and silent on the ground.